Was asked to name one thing I miss about my childhood. While some people mentioned riding bikes and playing with friends the first thing that came to my mind was that feeling of security.
As a child I never worried about the next meal or bills to be paid. If something broke I always knew Dad could fix it. Mom and Dad always provided a safe comforting home for us as children.
It wasn’t until I moved away from my parents that the reality of LIFE set in. Suddenly I was hit with not only rent, but groceries and shampoo to buy. Many years have passed since I first ventured out on my own and life’s reality check still leaves me with the uncertainty of how I’ll survive at times. My beloved husband has passed and that takes away a whole different meaning of security. My husband made me feel safe and with him I had that same secure feeling from my childhood. I knew when things went wrong he’d take care of it. Somehow I thought with growing older a sense of stability automatically came with age. I was financially stable with a great job I had in Vegas. When I moved to Alabama all that changed. Finding a stable good paying job has not been fruitful for me. Now with my husband’s death my income has decreased by two-thirds. I find myself forced into selling our home and trying to do repairs that are beyond my knowledge and income. I am praying for a quick sale so I can move back home to Vegas. Funny, my parents always provided security for me all throughout my life, now it is my turn to try and do the same for my aging mother. I am terrified at the thought of trying to provide a sense of stability for her because I feel so defeated at this moment. And yet, I know that when my children were young, their father and I always managed to put food on the table and a roof over their heads and while my mother does not require financial stability she needs assistance elsewhere.
Stability comes when you need it most. When you think you can’t stand on your own, it is there. It comes from putting your faith in things unseen, what is hoped for, and by trusting God for all your needs. I felt secure growing up because I trusted my parents for all my needs. I thought I had lost that sense of well-being, but as I ponder my thoughts to all that is and has been throughout my life, I can rest assured that I have my security in Christ. He sees me through even my darkest hour and while I may not know what tomorrow holds, today I am secure.
Pondering Thoughts 